I realized that, everything happened for a reason, but i can’t explain why the hell this was happening to me, in This way, with that “best friend”. inspired by love, that, that was the only reason why love kept me going. I was wrong, totally of the page; the chapter;the book. Why can’t it be just like a song, easy simple with a happy ending, but that’s not how life goes. 
so this one day at school, i saw them walking in The hall way, let’s test myself, to see if I’m over him. I came up to them. Asking how they were, how everything was going. But when he talked, i crashed down. I felt every emotions that i felt 10 months ago coming back to me. I tired to end to convocation as soon as possible. I turned around tearing, and there he was, Mark, holding me tight, it felt like he was feeling the same pain i was feeling. He couldn’t let me go, and i couldn’t let him go. I just couldn’t, he just couldn’t. HE came up to them, defending me, saying the things that i wanted to say, but that i couldn’t, And then, he turned around and kissed me. EVERYONE was looking at me,looking at us. He, walked away, with her, and Was this a fantasy that i was dreaming, for you trying to be someone for me, my imperfection? as i know he was too good to be true. Tears rolled down my eyes, knowing that i wasn’t alone anymore in this world, knowing that i could still be loved. But this could just be infatuation, i mean, this can’t be love right?  This is happening so fast i was falling for a guy that has a girlfriend and i the girl that he cheated with and everyone knew. A week later, Mark started to contact me, he started to text me asking me how i was feeling, making me feel loved and it made me realize more that i wasn’t infatuated. On a sunday, afternoon, i was walking to the park and i saw him waiting there for me, i didn’t know what he was doing, but he was just standing there, and flashbacks came. The repeating of the first time they met. In the park, right here. Where he was waiting for her. How she ended up like this and how everything started to make great sense again, but she came straight back to reality. I came towards him, and i didn’t know what to expect so i just said hi. There was silence, not the one i’m usually used to with him. Then he started to speak. He told me that he had come here because he had to tell me that he kissed me because his girlfriend told him to, because she knew how much pain i was in, and that maybe if he kissed me, i’d have less pain. It was true, i had less pain, but when i heard this. I felt so used.

i felt like the only reason that i was living was because my body was still working. i feel betrayed. My heart has been ripped out of me and nothing could heal the wound that i felt. Night after night i cried myself to sleep, and everyday waking up hoping that the it was just a horrible nightmare, but it wasn’t.Day after day, i saw them in the hallway passing me hand in hand, that “best Friend” i thought i had, with a great smile on her face, having the guy that i was suppose to be with, the boy i was still madly and deeply inlove with. I wondered at times what i should do to get her back, to let her feel the pain that i felt, but i couldn’t. The guilt would come to me, the guilt that i Wasn’t suppose to feel. I just lived with my heart torn apart. My friends outside school noticed that something was wrong with me, but Every single time they asked me, i kept denying that something was wrong. Then one day, they saw what Was wrong. They saw her With him. Together kissing, by the same place i saw them. They came to my house that same day, getting angry at me for not telling them, because they are my friends. But how could i? I mean who would want to hang out With a girl that is still in love and cries every singlE time in the bathroom when they see them together? They asked me if i already had a revenge plan, but i told them to drop it. It wasn’t worth fighting for someone that wasn’t in love with me anymore. They kept on nagging and nagging how this would happen again, and i Told them, that is was The third time they did this. Their faces were despicable. They told me, that i wasn’t the person people Wanted to mess with, but i was too kind to show it. I got pissed off actually when they said that. But i didn’t show it. i mean, i was soo good at hiding that i was hurt, so hiding my other emotions would have been a piece of cake, right? Wrong again. My pain turned into anger, every time i saw them together, i was tempted to slap them, to hit them, to shout at them, to do anything to get this pain away from me. Was i going mad?! Was he worth that much to me? Was he worth my life? i kept asking these questions, every night i went to sleep, and the answer was always no.

a week later everything changed, nothing was the same again. We grew apart, a week and that was all it needed for us, to be one on one. There was no more us. We never knew what happened between us we just stopped talking stop doing things together, he met someone else, and i was just left alone. He met a girl, and left me. i accepted the fact very fast because i knew it was coming. The signs that he was giving. At first i didn’t know what was going on, i was trying to see what happening but i guess i was blinded by love. The day i found out that was when he said that he loved someone else, and that someone else wasn’t me, i was devastated tears rolling down my cheeks, trying to look happy for him, not wanting to cry, ignoring his beautiful eyes. He walked away. I wanted to shout, “don’t go” but this was just like my horrible night mares where i could not speak. Every step he made, every time he went distant from me, i could feel a piece of my heart breaking. I never wanted this to happen. I never wanted him to leave me. I didn’t know who the girl was, or maybe i didn’t want to see it. Either way, i was going to find; and just lucky me i found out the best way. I saw them kissing in the back garden of the school. They tried to run from me. HE tried to run form me. The guy that was perfect, the guy that i was still inlove with; was running away from me, with my best-friend. I ran after them, leading them to this narrow hallway, i pushed him towards the wall, and as i was about to shout at him, tears dropped on the ground. One by one, i let him go, walked away and look at them one last time. She, who was with him, ran towards me, trying to explain, she said it wasn’t what you think it was. “Enough” i said, “i saw what i needed to see, and it’s done” i left with tears that rolling down my cheeks while going up the stairs.